


Repeated

by sarai377



Category: Fire Emblem: Kakusei | Fire Emblem: Awakening
Genre: Alternate Universe - Dark, Angst, Lies, Loop AU, M/M, Past Lives
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-07-29
Updated: 2015-09-06
Packaged: 2018-04-11 21:06:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,675
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4452362
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sarai377/pseuds/sarai377
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In desperation, Chrom tries increasingly risky tactics to keep Robin from sacrificing himself and disappearing from his life forever.</p>
<p>Based on the Loop AU from Chrobinprompts – Chrom is forced to repeat his life again and again, always falling in love with Robin, but being unable to keep him from dying. </p>
<p>Chrom/Male Robin</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Seventh

**Author's Note:**

> Based on suggestions from ChrobinPrompts.tumblr.com - the Loop AU.
> 
> (Kudos to draestrix on tumblr for the idea of Chrom being the one forced to repeat!)

“What is one life, when weighed against millions?” Robin whispered, and fiddled with his sword hilt.

Chrom gaped at Robin for a moment. He finally understood what Robin was suggesting. Chrom couldn’t get enough air, and his chest hurt.

He couldn’t believe Robin was seriously considering killing Grima himself, knowing that he would probably die too. Chrom had said just a few days ago that he would trade his own life to save the world, but this was different. This was _Robin_. Chrom’s fists tightened at his side.

“There has to be another way. We just have to find it. Promise me, Robin. Promise me you won't do this!" Chrom gripped Robin's arms, and leaned in. “I love you,” he whispered.

The white-haired man looked steadily at Chrom, and set his left hand gently against Chrom's cheek. His eyes were dark and deep, but to Chrom they were like glass, empty and unfathomable. Robin looked down right before he spoke.

"You're right, Chrom. I'm sorry." 

He was _lying_.

Something struck deep into Chrom's mind as Robin finished speaking, and he winced back. Memories flooded his mind – Robin saying the same exact words six times before. Chrom remembered his own reactions to those words: the acceptance, the fear, and the anger.

They had been through this before, and it always ended with Robin gone.

Chrom closed his eyes against the pain that had suddenly returned. In an instant, he had experienced six cycles of this hell. They were on number seven. 

Robin was lying. Chrom knew this with dread certainty.

Numbly, Chrom said the words he'd said the last six times Robin made this false promise. "We swore to stand by each other, remember? We're two halves of a whole... not even a dragon can separate us!" 

Robin nodded, grimly, and Chrom felt the ache of losing him over and over again, like an icicle through his heart. It grew worse with each attempt, that pain as Robin gave his life for the future.

_Don’t leave me_ , Chrom pleaded, tears burning hot in contrast with the cold in his chest.

"The time for deliberation is over, Awakener," Naga said, her voice echoing strangely in Chrom's head. Her glowing emerald eyes seemed to see into him, but if she felt his grief or his memories, she made no comment. "The Grimleal have found us." 

They always did, coming too quickly after Chrom’s memories returned. He never had the chance to try and talk it through with Robin until well after the battle was over. The second loop around, Chrom had been so distraught by the memories that he'd gotten critically injured in the upcoming battle. That ending had not been a good one. 

Chrom set himself for the battle, able to predict where the Grimleal were going to be almost as well as Robin could. He stayed beside his companion, hovering by him but not too close. Together, they took on the Grimleal, and Chrom himself did the honors of slaying Aversa.

As their army finished off the enemy stragglers, Chrom’s mind moved to the wealth of memories. He touched on those first few giddy make-out sessions, saw Robin’s blissful expression as Chrom reached out for him. He felt embarrassed as every time he compared his declaration of love to that of a wyvern in heat, but to Robin’s credit, the smaller man never laughed or mocked him. The years since that whispered confession had tempered his devotion to Robin, but through the six cycles, their relationship had grown the same way each time. And it had always ended in Robin lying to Chrom, and sacrificing himself.

_“May we meet again… in a better life.” It has never been a better life_ , Chrom thought angrily, _just more of the same_. Those words haunted Chrom, and he shuddered.

As Lucina had said of Emmeryn’s death, events can be changed, but the future was stubborn, and always wants to return to that well-worn riverbed.

After the battle, Chrom studied the memories of Robin’s last night, all six of them. All of his past attempts at talking Robin out of it had proved pointless.

He'd tried gentle persuasion the second and fifth time. The third and fourth times, he had been angry, and he and Robin had gotten into a fight. The make-up sex had been incredible, but it still didn't tie Robin to this life. He still stepped in front of Chrom and cast his magic at Grima, faster and quicker than Chrom could react - every time, except the sixth.

The first time, Chrom had done nothing. He'd bought the lie completely, and that night after Grima was defeated, he had lain in his lonely bed and cried until he felt there was no more of himself in his body. It had poured out of him, broken and lost. Robin was gone, and Chrom didn’t know how he could face the world without his best friend and the other half of his soul at his side.

The sixth time, the most recent time, Chrom had stabbed Robin. It had almost worked, but the cold, angry look on Robin’s face as he said that they were through... had nearly ripped Chrom to pieces. Robin had still gone to the battle, injured but supported by his daughter Morgan, and he and Morgan had both perished in that battle. Chrom had had to kill Grima himself, that evil creature who was using Robin’s face and features, mocking Chrom with those eyes.

Chrom had prayed, that night, that he would awake back at the beginning, and get another, perhaps the last, chance to keep Robin with him. He made plans in his head, the tears fuel for his frantic preparations. He didn’t know what magic or curse made him remember these past lives, but he would learn from them, and try not to make the same terrible decisions as before.

And here he was. Lucky number seven. The seventh false promise.

With the glowing, exalted Falchion at his hip, Chrom decided that he was going to doom his ancestors to face Grima’s wrath. He didn’t even feel bad for it – all his thoughts were focused on Robin.

He had to keep Robin away from the battle. If he wasn’t there, he couldn’t kill Grima.

Chrom wouldn't have to live with that heartache through another cycle. 

“Anything can change,” he whispered to himself, clenching his fists.

Late that night, Chrom found Robin in the tactician’s prep tent. He had come prepared, food and drink tucked into a small basket, and Robin’s smile was warm.

They shared a quiet dinner together, complete with a few glasses of wine. Robin looked guilty and twitchy, and Chrom was surprised he didn’t see this anxiousness the first time around. Robin gave in to Chrom much more than he would normally. He was trying to make their last night together memorable.

_If Robin knew his attempts made it much, much worse, would he still do it?_

Chrom had to be so careful, but he’d planned every movement. Eventually Robin’s glass was spiked with the strange liquid Tharja had given Chrom. Robin drank it down slowly, unsuspecting.

After the meal, they sat together, hip to hip, Chrom slouching back against the cot so the shorter man could rest his head on Chrom’s shoulder. Chrom sighed as Robin’s fingertips ran along his bare shoulder, tracing the exalted mark that lay on his bicep.

“I love you,” Chrom said, and grabbed Robin’s other hand.

Robin gave a little laugh. “You’re very clingy tonight. What’s wrong?”

“I just… don’t want to lose you tomorrow.”

It was the wrong thing to say. Robin’s hand clenched. “I promised you, didn’t I?” he demanded, and sat up.

Chrom eyed him a moment. This had been the argument from the sixth cycle. Robin had grown defiant and moody, and it had ended in Robin threatening to leave, and Chrom stabbing him in desperation. The memory cautioned Chrom better than any thoughts could, and he bit down his angry response.

Instead, he said, “Either of us could get killed by a Risen or a Grimleal tomorrow. You can’t promise that you won’t die. Please, Robin, I trust you.”

Robin wasn’t the only one that could lie. After a moment’s hesitation, Robin relaxed back against Chrom.

“Nothing is certain,” Robin said, “You’re right in that. But I will try to stay alive. I’ll be the wind at your back, Chrom.”

“And I the sword at your side.” Chrom smiled as Robin took another sip, watching the glass slowly empty. _Just a few more sips._

Robin leaned into Chrom and brushed a kiss against Chrom’s mouth. His dark eyes were filled with tears. “I love you too. I’ll always love you.”

_Yes, you will_ , Chrom thought. _This time, you will still be there when the battle is done._ Part of Chrom felt guilty as hell for doing this to Robin, but another part was relieved every time he took an unknowing sip.

The spelled liquid Tharja had given him started working shortly after Robin finished the glass. The tactician’s head bobbed at first, and he cut off a sentence to give in to a hearty yawn.

He leaned against Chrom’s shoulder, his eyelashes fluttering as he tried to stay awake. His dark eyes were tinged with remorse. “I’m sorry, Chrom… I’m just so tired. Will you… stay with me, tonight?”

Chrom nodded, catching his lover and pulling him into his lap. He felt so small in Chrom's arms. “Of course I will, Robin.”

“Chrom...?” Robin’s voice raised in a question that he couldn't quite form, and Chrom's body tingled with fear for a moment. But then Robin's head lolled back on Chrom’s shoulder, his eyes slowly flickering closed. Chrom studied the other man’s face for a few moments, exhaling with relief. He looked peaceful and calm, and Chrom felt tears rising in his own eyes.

Chrom lifted the unconscious tactician in his arms, and laid him on the cot. He curled up around Robin's still form. "I love you," he whispered to the sleeping man, and imagined he could hear Robin's response. His lover was silent and still.

Tharja had promised Chrom the potion would keep Robin unconscious for two whole days. She had also promised that no healing staff could awaken Robin – he was effectively out of the battle.

Chrom was keeping him, this time. There would be no sacrifice.

Chrom smiled into Robin’s hair. _Anything can change._


	2. Eighth

Chapter 2 - Eighth

Chrom raised the exalted Falchion in his hands, and felt the weight of it, the heaviness of that glow. He sighed, and rested his forehead against the wide flat of the blade. His seven previous attempts floated around in his head, making it hard to think or breathe. It all revolved around Robin. He opened his eye and there, through the center of the void in Falchion's hilt, he saw the white-haired tactician. 

His lover was looking down and frowning, his fingers pressed against the uneven pages of his Thoron tome. His lips moved silently, and Chrom wondered what he was whispering to himself. Chrom knew, in that instant, Robin was questioning his decision to sacrifice himself, weighing the benefits against his fears. Chrom always found himself on the opposite side of those scales, tipped away from in favor of the good of humanity. 

Chrom looked around at his so-called companions with frustration - the people that Robin wanted to save.  _They aren't worth it._ A burning hot anger rushed through him, and he instantly felt guilty for thinking it. But that guilt was nothing compared to the pain of losing him, again and again.

His short times with Robin crashed into Chrom once more, and his vision blurred. All seven previous attempts, and this one, the eighth round. Why couldn't they live on happy, together? 

That first time, when he had actually believed Robin's lie, he had lived for ten years without Robin. As the years dragged on, everyone else forgot about him, and his sacrifice became a fond, bittersweet memory.

Everyone, except for Chrom. 

He’d married Maribelle when Robin had been gone four years, after being pressured by his Council to provide additional heirs, but his heart had never been in that relationship, and Maribelle knew it. She gave him space, and tried to care for him as much as she could. She had been a small comfort against the loss, but Chrom found himself resenting her often.

Chrom hadn’t known that he could ever move on from the loss, from Robin’s sacrifice. Robin’s bitter lie raced through him every time – _You’re right, Chrom. I’m sorry._

He had never loved anyone as much as he’d loved Robin.

Chrom lowered his sword and moved toward the man he loved. Robin looked up and smiled faintly at him. The thoughts of Robin's impending death - suicide by Grima - hovered in his eyes, and Chrom flinched away from them. Robin’s mind was made up, and Chrom already knew that trying to convince him was futile. Gods knew, he had tried.

In a rare display of public affection, with everyone’s eyes upon them, Robin wrapped his arms around Chrom, armor and all. He pressed his shaking body against Chrom's. Chrom twined his gloved fingers in Robin's hair and kissed him gently on the cheek. 

"I love you," Robin whispered, looking up with wide, sorrowful eyes. 

_Not as much as I do you,_  Chrom thought back. "I love you, too." 

Robin seemed to gain confidence from the contact, and when he pulled back, Chrom let go. He’d tried to convince him before, but it hadn’t worked. It was time for drastic measures.

"Are you ready?" Chrom asked. Robin exhaled, and then nodded. 

~*~

Falchion cleared an easy path through the hoards of Risen, and Chrom knew exactly where Grima waited for him. He stood in the same spot every one of the seven times, and here in the eighth loop, the pattern held true.

It was easy for Chrom to slip away from Robin while the tactician was distracted in organizing the others.

Chrom approached the human-form of Grima by himself. He was ready to leap out of the way if the spikes rose up from the dragon’s body, but they didn’t come. To his surprise, Grima let him come close, and didn’t call the spikes until after Chrom entered his strike zone.

Grima herded Chrom closer. It was probably a trap, but Chrom wasn’t afraid. He had Falchion with him, and determination on his side. This would be the time – he _would_ save Robin, keep him from killing this demon.

The dragon turned its head, peering over Grima’s shoulder at Chrom. Six glowing red eyes blinked slowly in sequence as the dragon’s large head tilted. Those giant nostrils expanded, and then the man – Grima’s Avatar - put his hand against the dragon’s jaw.

“Hello, Chrom,” the man said with Robin’s voice. It was hard to look upon this man and not see Robin. He had come from another timeline with the desire to destroy everything. Chrom hated him, but the Avatar looked at him with Robin’s half-smile perched upon his lips. The look was deep and a little sad, and Falchion wavered momentarily.

_This is not Robin_ , he reminded himself sternly. His Robin was back in the middle of the battlefield, paired with Morgan, and hopefully unaware of Chrom’s disappearance.

“I’ve missed you,” the Avatar said, and took a step forward.

When he spoke, there was none of that juxtaposed darkness that Chrom usually heard when Grima spoke. It sounded… like Robin.

Chrom winced, but tightened his grip on Falchion. The exalted blade glowed orange in his hands. He had passed Naga’s trial, and come out the other side with the blade that could be Grima’s destruction. He could kill this creature, and he would.

The Avatar continued to speak, and his voice took on that hint of sadness that Robin’s voice sometimes held. It was an intimate sound, one that Chrom knew well. “I remember killing you, several times. It will be an honor to kill you again.”

The words didn’t register instantly, but when they did, Chrom nearly dropped the exalted blade.

“You… remember killing me? Are you… stuck repeating, too?” His voice felt breathy, and the man took another step toward him.

“Yes,” he said simply, and put his hand out to Chrom, palm up.

Chrom frowned, and brought Falchion up between them again. “Stay back,” he hissed. “It doesn’t matter if you’ve been looping with me. I will still kill you.”

Robin – no, Grima – gave that pained little chuckle, and his red eyes closed. Chrom shivered, for the Avatar looked identical to Robin with those eyes hidden.

“Of course it matters. Think about it a moment, Chrom.”

In spite of himself, Chrom did. The implications shook him to his core. _This_ was the first Robin. The one that hadn’t returned to him. Those ten long years of loneliness ran through him all at once.

“No,” Chrom said, shaking his head. “This can’t be possible.”

The Avatar took another step closer, and Chrom could see his eyes quite clearly. Despite their red coloration, a terrible loneliness hovered within them. “I’ve been trying to get back to you,” the Avatar said, still holding his hand toward Chrom.

Chrom exhaled shakily, and took the Avatar’s offered hand. It was warm, and trembled slightly.

“Chrom! Get away from him!” A loud voice called from his right, and he spun to see Robin – this world’s Robin – standing just outside the ring of spikes.

Suddenly Chrom realized the spikes weren’t there to trap him. They were there to keep everyone else away.

“I’ve missed you so much,” Robin or Grima whispered, and Chrom found his arm slithering around the man’s torso. The Avatar’s forehead was warm against Chrom’s neck, and his tears were cold.

Falchion’s hilt was cold and final in his hand – with one swing he could end it, and keep Robin with him for the rest of this life. This world’s Robin. He looked at the frantic tactician beyond the spikes, heard his cries as he tried to rescue Chrom.

But then, Chrom would be forced to repeat the next life, over and over.

In that instant, Chrom wasn’t certain if it was the constant futility or the weight of all those remembered lives, but he didn’t want to go back to the beginning. With his Robin – the first Robin – at his side, it was nearly impossible to know what the _right_ choice was.

Falchion’s tip lowered nearly to the ground.

“I love you,” Robin whispered against his neck, and clung to Chrom. Falchion fell from his fingers, and he wrapped both arms around that trembling body.

“I love you too,” he said, pressing his face against that soft hair.

He heard a broken sob, and then it transformed into a desperate laugh.

A sharp tingle ran through his body, from the center of his torso, and Robin pulled back, one hand sparking. A crackling sound, the precursor to nearby thunder, rang out around him.

“I’m sorry,” Robin whispered, ducking his face into Chrom’s neck again.

The burning, pinching, invasive pain emanated out from the lightning bolt buried in Chrom’s chest. He gasped.

Chrom had died in each of his past lives, and he knew a death blow when he felt one. It hurt to breathe, and he knew the magic had punctured one of his lungs.

“NO! Chrom!” This world’s tactician was screaming from behind him, but the Avatar’s voice sneaked in over it, his breath soft like a feather on Chrom’s lips. Chrom saw three sets of eyes now, all blood-red and dimly glowing.

“Don’t worry, there’s always next time.” And then, the Avatar kissed him.

His mouth was hot and warm, and it still tasted like Robin. Despite his wound, Chrom returned the kiss, his mind whirling with confusion somewhere past the pain.

Chrom gasped against that chapped mouth as his knees gave out. The Avatar caught him and knelt with him, smiling grimly.

“Why?” Chrom demanded, gripping the Avatar’s hand tight.

"Because... I love you." He was close enough that Chrom could see the tears leaking from his eyes. The Avatar gently lay Chrom on his back, and Chrom groaned as the movement jarred the lightning bolt driven deep into his body.

And then this world’s tactician was standing over them, his dark eyes clouded with pain. The Robin – Grima’s Avatar - that had stabbed Chrom looked up in surprise.

“How dare you!” this world’s tactician shouted, and struck at the Avatar with another Thoron bolt. “You’re _finished_!”

Chrom lost sight of the two for a few moments, as he coughed up more blood. His limbs felt heavy and water-logged. When the coughing exhausted him, he gasped, and squinted his eyes open.

He felt the dragon’s scream beneath him, and looked up to see the red-eyed Robin surrounded by darkness. His screams sounded too much Robin’s, this time.

“Wait,” Chrom moaned, but his call was lost in the sounds of Grima fading from this world. With one last dark flicker, his red-eyed Robin was gone.

“What were you thinking, Chrom?” this world’s Robin asked, falling heavily to his knees beside Chrom. Robin winced, and raised his hands up as the outline of them flickered.

“May we meet again, in a better life,” Chrom choked out, and Robin’s eyes widened.

“How did you…” Robin’s hand pressed against Chrom’s cheek, and then passed through. He cried out as his hands started fading.

“You always… say it,” Chrom choked.

“I’m… sorry I always leave you,” Robin said, and looked at Chrom with clarity, an instant before he flickered out. His cloak floated over Chrom, and he clutched that rough fabric in one cold hand.

It was starting to grow dark around Chrom, and he welcomed that blackness, the ignorance that it would bring when he restarted, once more. His body wasn’t hurting any longer – he felt nothing.

And then, at the very last, there lingered a phantom kiss to welcome him into the beyond.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OK, I’ve finally got all the details on this one in order, so there is part 2! This story went sideways from my original intention, but I really like how changed it is from the original concept in my head. 
> 
> I hope I wasn’t too confusing with the Avatar, Grima, and Robin… I was trying to show Chrom was blurring all the lines between them. 
> 
> In case you’re wondering, for second generation purposes, Chrom married Sumia and Lucina was born, but Sumia died before Valm. I’m unclear if Chrom and Robin were a couple before or after Sumia’s death, but I don’t think that detail matters much for the story. Chrom always cared for Robin, even from day one.
> 
> There’s going to be one more part to this (I think). I hope you enjoyed, and please let me know what you think!

**Author's Note:**

> I tried to show that Chrom is getting a little desperate and his judgement of right and wrong is starting to skew. 
> 
> (I have a feeling there's a bad ending for Chrom coming up, but shhh everything's fine)
> 
> Thanks for reading and please let me know what you think!


End file.
